Fear makes you a prisoner. Fear inhibits you and causes you to lower the bar. Fear is the critical voice in our head saying: “You’ll never make this w ork, you’ll never get on top of this?” Fear is irrational and makes you focus on the worst outcome. We paint pictures of how bad it is going to be and also how powerless we are to act. When we make mistakes, when finances are difficult, when we have made a bad decision and covered it up we become consumed with fear.
Fear speaks failure over our lives and that is a lie!
1. Write down your fears, often they look different in black and white. It is time to get them into perspective. What is the worst that can happen?
2. Are there things that you’re holding back on, are there decisions, actions, things that need to be said? Does fear tell you to put that action off until tomorrow? You have a limited time on this earth. Deadlines are called deadlines for a reason!
3. Little by little. Make a list of three of the smallest actions that you need to do and complete today, they must move you closer to your desired outcome. Pick really easy tasks that you know you can do so that you can build up some momentum. Often when we need to make changes we think of the biggest leap and because it is so big it becomes to overwhelming. Complete three simple easy tasks today.
4. Start asking yourself positive questions. For example, ask “how can I make taking this action a more enjoyable experience?”. Now your brain has something to do! Don’t expect the answer straight away (but be aware of opportunities and situations that provide clues) – but you’re going in the right direction. Get into the habit of asking yourself questions rather than making blanket (negative) statements.
5. Redefine “mistakes” and learn from all experiences. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes you’ve made in the past by being fearful of starting new relationships, jobs etc. That gets you nowhere. Call a mistake an “opportunity for learning” and seek the learning in every “mistake”. A wise mentor of mine once said “if you have a go and fail at least you get an education, what can you learn from doing nothing?”
6. Birds of a feather flock together. Seek the company of supportive people and reduce contact with those who foster feelings of negativity and have a “fearful” approach to life.
7. Read books about people who have succeeded despite the obstacles and look at the principles and qualities behind what they did, their thinking and attitude. Closer to home – seek out role models who represent what you want to become. Learn from their approach and attitude. Become a student of excellence follow people who have achieved what you wish to do.
8. Know that whatever quality you like or admire in someone else is lying dormant in you – waiting to be developed. How else would you recognise it? Make a list of the qualities you most admire in someone else and ask yourself how they can be acknowledged and developed in you.
9. Your past doesn’t have to define your future. Be aware of your past and willing to let go of it. Each day brings a new opportunity to do and think about things differently.
10. List your goals and the actions you need to take to achieve them every day. Every time you do something that brings you a little closer to achieving your goals, you will feel better about yourself and reduce your unnecessary fears. Reduce your fears by focussing on positive outcomes. Reduce your fears by creating forward momentum. Reduce your fears by not accepting the lie.
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