Art of Giving

"Rivers do not drink their own water, nor do tree eat their own fruit, nor do rain clouds eat the grains reared by them. The wealth of the noble is used solely for the benefit of others?

Even after accepting that giving is good and that one must learn to give, several questions need to be answered.

The first question is when should one give?

We all know the famous incident from the Mahabharata.

Yudhisthir, asks a beggar seeking alms to come the next day. On this, Bhim rejoices, that Yudhisthir his brother, has conquered death! For he is sure that he will be around tomorrow to give. Yudhisthir gets the message.

One does not know really whether one will be there tomorrow to give! The time to give therefore is now.

The next question is how much to give.

One recalls the famous incident from history. Rana Pratap was reeling after defeat from the Moghals. He had lost his army, he had lost his wealth, and most important he had lost hope, his will to fight. At that time in his darkest hour, his erstwhile minister Bhamasha came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of Rana Pratap. With this, Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fight another day.

The answer to this question how much to give is "Give as much as you can!

The next question is what to give. It is not only money that can be given. It could be a flower or even a smile.

It is not how much one gives but how one gives that really matters. When you give a smile to a stranger that may be the only good thing received by him in days and weeks! "You can give anything but you must give with your heart!

One also needs answer to this question whom to give.

Many times we avoid giving by finding fault with the person who is seeking. However, being judgmental and rejecting a person on the presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justified. “Give without being judgmental!

Next we have to answer How to give

Coming to the manner of giving, one has to ensure that the receiver does not feel humiliated, nor does the giver feel proud by giving.

In giving follow the advice, ’Let not your left hand know what your right hand gives? Charity without publicity and fanfare is the highest form of charity. 'Give quietly!

While giving let not the recipient feel small or humiliated. After all what we give never really belonged to us. We come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing. The thing gifted was only with us for a temporary period. Why then take pride in giving away something which really did not belong to us? Give with grace and with a feeling of gratitude.

* When you help someone in need, give it before he asks for it; for if you place him under the necessity of stretching out his hand, you take away from him his self-respect which is worth more than the value of your alms.

What should one feel after giving?

We all know the story of Eklavya. When Dronacharya asked him for his right thumb as "Guru Dakshina", he unhesitatingly cut off the thumb and gave it to Dronacharya.

There is a little known sequel to this story. Eklavya was asked whether he ever regretted the act of giving away his thumb. He replied, and the reply has to be believed to be true, as it was asked to him when he was dying.

His reply was "Yes! I regretted this only once in my life. It was when Pandavas were coming in to kill Dronacharya who was broken hearted on the false news of death of his son Ashwathama and had stopped fighting. It was then that I regretted the loss of my thumb. If the thumb was there, no one could have dared hurt my Guru.

The message to us is clear. Give and never regret giving!
And the last question is How much should we provide for our heirs?
Ask yourself 'are we taking away from them the gift of work'? - A source of happiness! The answer is given by Warren Buffett: "Leave your kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing!
I would conclude by saying: let us learn the Art of Giving, and quoting Saint Kabir:
"When the wealth in the house increases, when water fills a boat, Throw them out with both hands"

Ending the Struggle With Depression

Medical experts claim that one of the many ingredients to a healthy lifestyle is to be happy.


A person who is free from negative vibes and thoughts are the ones who rarely get depressed and stressed out.

Although it is normal for anyone to experience depression at some point in his or her life, extreme condition of anxiety depression may be detrimental to a person's perspective and approach towards life.

As defined in medical terminology, manic depression is a psychological condition that changes how a person thinks and feels in a negative way. This condition is far from the aspect of just being sad, moody, or unhappy. Serious cases of depression, when not consulted, can eventually affect a person's behavior and sense of well-being.

37 Ways to make a Difference

For YOURSELF:

1. Smile more often! Be amazed of how many will be happy to smile back at you. Besides, this is the best facial exercise you can make to delay aging signs -- so smile!

2. Eat right! Boost your immune system by eating more natural food, like fresh fruits and vegetables. This alone can significantly reduce your weight and health concerns.

3. Exercise regularly. The reason is not just to lose weight, but it's a great habit to maintain good health by improved circulation, elimination of body toxins, etc.

4. Drink water more than 'colored drinks' for your health. Water has no sugar or additives.

5. Read and learn more. Devote time and money for self-improvement, the best investment you can make that truly pays off.

6. Love, care, give, and share more. This practice is the very purpose of your life.

7. Keep believing. Pray. Nurture your spirit. This won't cost you any, but help or answer to your needs can be just a prayer away.

For those YOU CARE ABOUT:

8. If you love them, then say it and show it! Do not take them for granted. They need both to hear and see you care.

9. Spend more quality time with them. It is what they'll remember most.

10. Visit, write, call those you haven't for a while.

For our SENIORS:

11. Give a helping hand and cheers -- cooking, cleaning, or whatever they are limited to.

12. Give a ride or offer to carpool with them whenever there's a need.

13. Involve them on activities that will continue to stimulate their senses, or they can contribute their gathered wisdom.

For our CHILDREN or YOUTH:

14. Walk or create programs for youth to benefit them and rally for their good future.

15. Give them more opportunities to explore and develop their natural gifts and talents, express their dreams and goals.

16. Encourage our children more by your words and example. Stay positive! .

For our VETERANS: (For the freedom we now enjoy is due to their sacrifices.)

17. Send cards or anything to show you remember and appreciate them.

18. Recognize them and give a smile, a salute, or high-five when you see them around.

19. Support their events and fundraising efforts to help them.

For our HOMELESS Citizens: (Just like you and me, they need care and understanding. )

20. Encourage them by taking time to help them get the help they need/resources to get back on track.

21. Volunteer in your local shelters. There are many ways you can help or contribute.

22. Help create more programs to help them get out of their situation.

For our VOLUNTEERS: (For helping us make things happen.)

23. Big "thank you!" note or anything to show your appreciation of them.

24. Join them and be prepared to do a random act of kindness anytime.

25. How about "volunteers appreciation day" to celebrate them and have a good break?

For our ENVIRONMENT: (We only have one planet, so we must take care of it.)

26. Clean and plant trees with your workmates, neighbors, etc. Anywhere permissible.

27. Recycle consciously, not just plastics and papers, but clothes and others you can share. Clean up your closet, garage, or storage for everything that you don't need. Do a yard sale or simply drive to or call local charities for pickup. This is one recycling to meet needs of others.

28. Learn more of what's causing the global warming and contribute to preventions/ solutions.

For ALL of US:

29. Sing, dance, be happy no matter what. Brighter days are yet to come!

30. Speak the truth. Seeking the truth can set someone free.

31. Notice and say something good or positive to someone, and mean it.

32. Learn survival techniques. Always be prepared for any emergency.

33. Accept yourself. You are gifted and blessed more than you know.

34. Be forgiving and understanding as you seek forgiveness and understanding.

35. Learn how to budget or how to manage your money. Spend only on needs and the money that you actually have.

36. Be involved in your community in making good things happen!

37. Will you support me on my personal goal to make a difference (i.e., to reach at least three million people everywhere to bring HOPE and more OPPORTUNITIES for people to live better lives)?

-- - By Anolia Orfrecio Facun

Resolving Conflicts 101

What's so bad about arguing?

First, let me clarify what I mean by the word argue. It is a legal term. In a court of law attorneys make arguments designed to show the guilt or innocence of their client. They present the 'facts' with the attitude, "Any reasonable person would agree with my argument."
What works fairly well in the court room, works poorly in a marriage, because there is no judge available to determine when your spouse is 'out of order'. Arguments become charged with emotion and you end up yelling, screaming, or crying. Each feels the other is unreasonable. What's so bad about arguing? It turns spouses into enemies who have feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment.

Why is it so important to resolve conflicts?

Because unresolved conflicts stand as barriers to marital unity. Conflicts are those issues over which we have differences and we both feel that our side is right. If we don't find a 'meeting place' we become enemies instead of teammates. And, life becomes a battlefield. No one likes to fight. So, sooner or later someone gives up and walks away.
How sad that thousands of marriages end because couples never learn to resolve conflicts. The first step in resolving conflicts is to get out of the "arguing mode" and get into the "understanding mode". Stop trying to win an argument and start trying to understand each other.

Why do people argue?

In one word, rigidity. In essence we are saying, "My way is the right way, and if you don't do it my way, I'll make your life miserable." The arguer insists on getting his own way.
Conflict resolvers have a different attitude. They say, "I'm sure we can work this out in a way that will be positive for both of us. Let's think about it together." They look for a win-win resolution. They begin by respecting each other's ideas and looking for a solution instead of trying to win an argument.
The Scriptures say, "Love does not demand its own way." Actually, love is looking out for the other person's interest. "What would be best for you?" is the question of love.

You will never resolve conflicts if you don't learn to listen.

Many people think they are listening when in fact they are simply reloading their verbal guns. Listening means seeking to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. It is putting ourselves in the other person's shoes and trying to look at the world through their eyes.
Here's a good sentence with which to begin. "I want to understand what you are saying because I know it is important." One man told me that he made a sign which read: "I am a Listener." When his wife started talking he would hang it around his neck to remind himself of what he was doing. His wife would smile and say, "I hope it's true." He learned to be a good listener.

We are all busy.

Often, too busy to listen. And yet, listening is the only way you will ever come to understand your spouse's thoughts and feelings. Listening takes time and requires focus. Many people pride themselves in being able to listen while reading e-mails or watching television. One husband said, "My wife insists that I sit down and listen to her. I feel like I'm in a straitjacket, like I'm wasting time."
When you drop everything, look at your spouse and listen, you communicate, "You are the most important person in my life." On the other hand, when you listen while doing other things, you communicate: "You are one of my many interests." Listening is a powerful expression of love.

After a Breakup

Relationship break up can be a very painful experience. Mourning the loss of the relationship for a time is perfectly natural. It is a time to come to terms with your loss so that you can move on to a brighter day. Part of that brighter day will probably involve dating again. After a break up, when should you start dating again? That is different for every person, but here are some questions to consider that help you determine if you are ready to start dating again.

10 actions you can take now.

Fear makes you a prisoner. Fear inhibits you and causes you to lower the bar. Fear is the critical voice in our head saying: “You’ll never make this w ork, you’ll never get on top of this?” Fear is irrational and makes you focus on the worst outcome. We paint pictures of how bad it is going to be and also how powerless we are to act. When we make mistakes, when finances are difficult, when we have made a bad decision and covered it up we become consumed with fear.

Fear speaks failure over our lives and that is a lie!

1. Write down your fears, often they look different in black and white. It is time to get them into perspective. What is the worst that can happen?

2. Are there things that you’re holding back on, are there decisions, actions, things that need to be said? Does fear tell you to put that action off until tomorrow? You have a limited time on this earth. Deadlines are called deadlines for a reason!

3. Little by little. Make a list of three of the smallest actions that you need to do and complete today, they must move you closer to your desired outcome. Pick really easy tasks that you know you can do so that you can build up some momentum. Often when we need to make changes we think of the biggest leap and because it is so big it becomes to overwhelming. Complete three simple easy tasks today.

4. Start asking yourself positive questions. For example, ask “how can I make taking this action a more enjoyable experience?”. Now your brain has something to do! Don’t expect the answer straight away (but be aware of opportunities and situations that provide clues) – but you’re going in the right direction. Get into the habit of asking yourself questions rather than making blanket (negative) statements.

5. Redefine “mistakes” and learn from all experiences. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes you’ve made in the past by being fearful of starting new relationships, jobs etc. That gets you nowhere. Call a mistake an “opportunity for learning” and seek the learning in every “mistake”. A wise mentor of mine once said “if you have a go and fail at least you get an education, what can you learn from doing nothing?”

6. Birds of a feather flock together. Seek the company of supportive people and reduce contact with those who foster feelings of negativity and have a “fearful” approach to life.

7. Read books about people who have succeeded despite the obstacles and look at the principles and qualities behind what they did, their thinking and attitude. Closer to home – seek out role models who represent what you want to become. Learn from their approach and attitude. Become a student of excellence follow people who have achieved what you wish to do.

8. Know that whatever quality you like or admire in someone else is lying dormant in you – waiting to be developed. How else would you recognise it? Make a list of the qualities you most admire in someone else and ask yourself how they can be acknowledged and developed in you.

9. Your past doesn’t have to define your future. Be aware of your past and willing to let go of it. Each day brings a new opportunity to do and think about things differently.

10. List your goals and the actions you need to take to achieve them every day. Every time you do something that brings you a little closer to achieving your goals, you will feel better about yourself and reduce your unnecessary fears. Reduce your fears by focussing on positive outcomes. Reduce your fears by creating forward momentum. Reduce your fears by not accepting the lie.

Earthly and Personal Statistics